I have been down a rabbit hole of very... depressing thoughts. It's the best way I could put it. I wouldn't say that I am depressed myself, but a lot of philosophical things make themselves out to be that way. Thinking about existence isn't necessarily a fun activity, but it is something I deem to be important.
With that being said, this journal entry will get involved in heavy topics, including death, war, and other things that may trigger readers. Please be mindful, there will be things discussed that may not settle well with most people. However, these are thoughts that I am willing to share and may intrigue others. I'm basically going off the deep end here.
To start, I would like to introduce two philosophies that I find interesting: extistentialism and nihilism. Both of these delve into the "why do we exist" question, but both tackle it in different ways. Extistentialism focuses on the meaning of human existence, while nihilism focuses on the belief that human existence has no meaning. Both of these philosophies seem like they conflict with each other, since like... one of them is blatantly saying that there is no meaning behind it. I'll explain both of them in greater detail, and my experiences with them.
Extistentialism has been lingering in my head for quite some time now, even before I was aware that the concept existed. Why the hell are we here? The scary part is that no one can really give a definitive 100% answer for this question, and yet, we just live life like it's nothing. Yeah, we exist, whatever. I just... can't comprehend that at all. It feels so weird to me that the entire human population of 7 billion and counting have no idea what our purpose is, and yet we just live life because "you only live once". While I explain it now as if I am constantly thinking these things every hour of every day, I enjoy my life too. But, these thoughts like to come back and it gets me thinking again.
Most people develop their own purpose in life. I think that purpose is the one thing that keeps people going. I feel like the first journal entry I have written on motivation always ends up being brought up again for everything else I write about. I pretty much knew what was the most important to write about from the start. Without motivation, we feel like we have no purpose. It basically turns into nihilism at that point, thinking that existence doesn't matter.
My experience with nihilism is minimal, as I was only really brought to the topic a few days ago, though concepts of nihilism have entered my mind in the past at some point. Instead of asking why, just say it doesn't matter. That'll eliminate all your problems. =)
In all seriousness, nihilism is a valid philosophy to consider. You always have to bring up the generic "yeah we're just a tiny speck in the universe", but it is more than that. I feel like that is a very boring conclusion to come to, cuz yeah we're worthless being a tiny speck in the universe, no shit sherlock. We need to think in terms of the Earth and the animal ecosystem. We are animals. If you've ever killed a fly, did you care about its life? If you wanted to kill it, probably not. It gave you a minor inconvenience, so it costed its life for you to no longer be displeased by it. Your life can be compared to the life of a fly. We are one in the same; creatures that were given the gift of life, and that gift can be taken away from us in an instant. The difference between us and the fly is that we have feelings. We believe that human life is more valuable than the fly because we are able to love each other.
In the grand scheme of things, feelings is a concept curated by us, and that our life is no different to any other animal. Whether a human dies or a fly dies, a life is still lost. Did that fly's life mean anything? Does a human's life mean anything? What is lost when one dies? Talking about what happens when death occurs is difficult, because we don't know. The only way to tell is to, well... die. But, by dying, we leave the realm that we wanted to know that information in. My perception of what death could be is that it feels exactly as it did before you were born. What did it feel like before you were born? If you have any idea, please tell me.
I'm gonna be boring and mention a somewhat philosophical article here, named The Damned Human Race by Mark Twain, and I would suggest reading it if you're interested. To sum it up, humans suck. The author of this essay puts humans on the bottom of the ecosystem, saying that humans have more flaws than the rest of the animals that exist on Earth. Our knowledge and feelings are used against us. Though we have more than the rest of the animals, such as the ability to have more thoughts and to comprehend things better, this ability gets us thinking about stuff like exactly what I'm talking about, which is quite ironic. I'm sure animals feel some form of depression, but the ones that do not probably live the best lives. They have not a thing to worry about. When are humans not worrying?
To summarize some of the points Mark makes:
- He says that animals do not feel ashamed, and that it is a quality only humans feel. We are afraid of the thoughts of others, while animals probably don't care at all.
- Animals only work for themselves to survive, and do not work for others to obtain resources. He says that even if someone is employed and earning a salary, they are still considered a slave. I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this point. Though, some may suggest that this way of life is better because it is consistent. By fighting for ourselves, there are risks involved. In the grand scheme of things, humans were not built to widthstand 40 hour weekly shifts with other things built on top of that. To feel physical exhaustion everyday and just "getting through it" is not how life was intended. Our intent was to live like the rest of the animals in the world, even if that means your life is on the line.
- Humans are selfish. Going back to the fly example, we are willing to destroy one life to please our own, and we pretty much do this on a grand scale with all lives "lower" than ours. We categorize "human" outside of the rest of the species in the world. Humans are willing to destroy another human's life for a personal motive, or to torture someone else because their beliefs are different from their own. Though I will give the exception that killing a life for food is reasonable, I believe that slaughter houses and mass killings of animals for food production is not the way things were intended.
- Animals never fight in organized masses. Humans will go out with the intention of killing its own kind. War is the obvious example. Humans will kill each other because of differing beliefs. I believe that this is the case because we are the highest on the food chain, we have nothing to defend ourselves from. The only thing we fear is our own species.
- Humans are foolish. According to Mark, "In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends... They lived together in peace; even affectionately." He then adds, "in another cage I confined an Irish Catholic..., a Scotch Presbyterian..., a Turk from Constantinople, a Greek Christian..." and etcetra. You already know how this ends, they kill each other. Humans of differing backgrounds cannot be together, and yet animals of differing species can live just fine. We cannot work together if one thing steps out of line.
So overall, I pretty much just took a giant dump on human life, right? Yeah, I did, but it is the reality. Being the most intelligent species also makes us the lowest. We just think too much. Who knew that being too smart is a bad thing. I am glad that I am alive and to be able to experience what it is like, but it is important to analyze what we are doing wrong. There are obviously some good things too, maybe I'll write something up about that someday. I just wanted to jot these thoughts down before I forgot them or something. I was worried to publish something regarding thoughts like these on the internet, but who cares at this point. I'm sure many other people have had thoughts like these, and so I think that stating them freely can get some people motivated to do it themselves.